2016 felt like a year of contrasts. It was challenging physically, mentally, and spiritually. It was exhausting and sometimes hard. It was a year spent mostly out of my comfort zone due to pregnancy and parenthood. In many ways, it often felt directionless. At the same time, it was exciting and exhilarating. I felt more joy and happiness than I’ve ever known before. I experienced more patience and calm than I knew I had in me. In many ways, I’ve felt a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment to a degree I’ve never experienced before.
Tara Bliss recently posted an Instagram (read it, it’s a good one as are all of her posts) in which she defined being a woman as “The ability to hold all things, at the same time, in my womb, in my heart, in my head, in my soul.”
Yes, that. That’s what I felt like I experienced in 2016. A year of santosha in action. Holding space for all the feelings.
2017 feels like a fresh start. A clean slate. A new beginning. A rebirth.
An opportunity to unearth my truest self in this new stage of life.
I’m devoting this year to surrender. Surrender to the divine. Surrender to the flow of life. I’m relinquishing my own desires in favor of the divine path and lessons that life has in store for me.
I’ve been reading books like Outrageous Openness and Change Me Prayers by Tosha Silver, The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary, and The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. Jess Lively’s approach of alignment before action and following flow also resonate deeply with me.
Of course, I’m not suddenly devoid of desires and wishes. My ego is still very much present. I just hope to have more awareness around it, to practice laying down my desires and personal preferences in favor of whatever life is giving me in the present moment, and to know and trust that life herself has a far more perfect plan than I could ever conjure up myself.
I also want to approach the year with the attitude of being a student. I want to begin learning again – to actually explore the things I’m interested in and to allow myself to suck and be a total beginner. And to let it be an imperfect, messy process.
The thing is – I know I will fall off course. I know I will fail. I know my vibe will drop from time to time. I know I’ll get misaligned.
What I want for this year is to allow myself to fall without judgement, to give myself space to experiment, and to sit back down and realign when I waver.
I’m committing to my energy and to alignment. To raising my vibration and taking action from the vibration in which I want the solution to arise. I’m here to serve and to be used as a conduit for the highest good. I will do my best to remain open to whatever that may look like.
So instead of setting any concrete goals, I’m totally open. This year is a clean slate and I’m just the paint – I’m stepping out of the way and letting life be the painter.
From Change Me Prayers:
Change me Divine Beloved into One who lets go easily and stops chasing outcomes. Let me offer all my needs to You, knowing You bring sacred solutions at the right time. May You guide my way in every moment, showing the perfect actions. Let me feel worthy to open and receive in every way.
Take me over and do what You will.
I am Yours alone.
Just take me over and do what You will.
Make me Yours.
You are Mine.
We are One.
All is well.